My journey

I made this model based on the model and diagram by Nguyen Hung Cuong. The original name is Canh Chim Tinh Yeu, which means Heart Wings

Tuesday 12^th May 2009 was the day when I for the first time stood in front of a class in a school. I was doing a teaching demonstration for the process to be a teacher in the ‘Tiara Bangsa School’ which is located in East Jakarta. The school arranged me to perform the demo for grade 4 students. The class was named ‘Grade 4 Blue’.

As I stood before them, I took the time given to me by the supervisor and I started the lesson. I was assigned to teach Bahasa for that demo. To run my strategy, I have prepared media to stimulate their thinking; the media are origami models. There were eight models, but only four that I used after I counted the students to be put in groups of three and four. They were surprised as I showed the models.

Then, I asked them to make a writing regarding to the models. It could be a story, a poem, a description, or anything they like to write. At first they were not sure what to write. So I came to each of the groups. I made many suggestions of what they could write as they did also ask me some questions. The class gave good responds. They could use the models effectively.

Later on the supervisor regarded me and approved my method. He asserted that what I have given to them made them able to enjoy the lesson. However, of course there were several things that I need to pay attention. He said that I have to be clearly explained what they should to write as he also noticed that some students not know what to write at the beginning. I agreed with him. Nevertheless, he praised the way I teach.

So far, I have done three demonstrations in three schools. The other two were not with students but with some teachers, and in different field of studies. One said to me that what I have been through will get me to where I want to be. Thank you.

YYDW

Got really mad and hard to breath
Not far from insanity
Felt desperate and wanted to waste
Not far from foolish
There had I been.

Then, somehow I keep asking,
Am I so disappointed you Lord?
Am I so disgrace in your sight?

People seek mercy
Begging and praise you
They rejoice as help granted
May I expect your mercy in return?

Lord, knowing from dust I was made
I dare to question you
I dare to ask your return
So deserve to be thrown out

I do am afraid
I do am overwhelmed by fear and worries
I do am overshadowed by my own ego

Little though I hope
Small though my courage
Weak though my spirit
I still have love
thank you Lord, and it is not to satisfy my pleasure
but to really say Amen

YYDW

How we knew each other, makes the world doubt that love does exist. How we love each other makes the world judges and denies our love. What is it wrong with our love? Don’t you know that love is just for love? Furthermore, you line a set of rules for us to follow for the sake of morality. Is it for morality or to satisfy your own judgment?

Then, you blame me for a single mistake I made that you take the mistake to make a further judgment. What if you take a mirror and see what you did before. Don’t break the mirror when you find out the fact. Surprisingly you think that we live in our own world. I ever said that don’t make a judgment. Moreover, you have a bitter heart against me for the love I have. Weren’t you believed in miracle? Weren’t you taught to have a positive mind? I almost torn apart but the love encourage me to keep my faith.

Why then, you must be the next one to judge me and the love I have? Am I guilty by writing this? You don’t have any idea how you have doubted me for the sake of your wisdom. Well, perhaps it was not merely your wisdom. You may correct it as you wish, I do feel guilty by judging you with my writing, but I feel objection.

Love… is full of wonders

Not framed by time nor place

Once you have love that encourages your faith

And burns your hope

Don’t make a distance.

YYDW

How many more people out there start to doubt that God does exist? I myself am someone who is so ignorant of his grace that people would question me. I myself am someone who was at one point, people would proud of me; but at another point, people would put a set of rules to judge me. What is it about me that you yourself doubt me? I’m sorry for making this first paragraph in disorder. Well, I felt that way.

You asked for proof. Good then, but what that proof would do. Would it to fulfill your terms and conditions against my life? Why then, you would be that person? Maybe I’m so ignorant for your care; but I’m sure that you doubt because of what have been with me doesn’t not make sense. Life does have so many surprises that in one way or another makes people wander, but more likely so cautious that its wonders fade.

Maybe I may stress some of what had happened. I was nearly broken. I was close to insanity. I was tired and torn. I was discouraged and disgraced. However people whom I may met by the grace of the Lord do burn the spirit for me to live.

Lord, forgive me for being so selfish. Please let me have that courage again to come to you.

YYDW