My journey

For about seconds, I was thinking that it was like a dream. I gathered with people from different country, having a farewell party. It was a small group though. Yet, for me, it was a great night. I never thought that I could be in conversation between them. I didn’t ’sing’ the sound of silence at that time ;p By the way, two persons in the picture are the co-workers of my colleague.

We were talking, joking, talking, joking, talking, and joking again. Topics within each of our lives, food, man landing on moon, cockroach, entertainment, religions, work….. were rolling in our talks. It was funny when we discussed about the cockroach; Two of the colleagues were wandering about the people in China who like to eat almost anything. So, we came up with cockroach. However, since there was one colleague from China, cockroach proven to be only in a very few dishes. Oh i remember another interesting one, that we mentioned about Charles Darwin. It was because one colleague associate my name to Charles Darwin :p

I then remembered back in my country with my friends. I often had gathering with them as well. We chatted, joked, had fun, played games, and some other activity just to catch up each other. The moments when I was having gathering like these, were like assuring me that we are different. We have particular different roles within this world. I’m glad that though we often had many difficult times but some of us were there at those times to encourage others. Whereas others keep playing their roles distinctively awesome.

YYDW

I was watching a documentary that shown how humans skin animals alive. They were alive and skinned for their fur. How could those humans have hearts like that. How could they bear such cruelty in their heart. Then, I came to know another terrible facts that human slays animals for sport and fun. They laughed as they swung their axes to shed bloods. I was very bothered to know these. But……….. unfortunately, I too am in the part in one way or another. So sad…. still, i want to correct my self, but anxiously deeply troubled by my own judgment.

Ahh…. we are mean beings. We hurt each other. We kill each other. We eat each other. We judge, we blame, we discourage, we accuse, we…. I was like loosing my heart as i was confused. I was deeply fooling my self. Moreover, i was thinking that i didn’t have the privilege to live. By this, I judge others as not guilty while we are in the same life. Continued feel depressed, I put my self as the only one who must be exterminated. I lied then by this statement of mine. Other do take part. Sigh.

Days passed as i lose my hours to sleep. I often had a quite severe headache this last semester. The heart beat also not well rhymed. Work and study were not matched with my timing. Not to mention my life as well. Then, i came to aware of the spirits around me. I realized that human got few times left. The nature were trying to reveal another phase in the evolution. Men then by their rational; which i hate, try to calculate and judge what they call the supreme power in this universe. Oh, how long would you resist that actually the whole universe is under His power.

Messengers came and gone, only to find that religions developed to be futuristic human-friendly yet ghastly confusing. The truth is really hidden among the rationals, though the religions claim to be true. Some of these messengers are not from any religion. They work as they are sent. However, there are many messengers really in their capacity to deliver the true message. Angels are close to them. Some of them might be the angles them self. One day, their Lord will come. He has been waited by His messengers to complete the message.
If you were thinking that i was talking about any particular religions, you might be right. But once again, messengers came and gone, they find religions developed to be up side down with the message. This up side down message from time to time find its way vigorously spreading causes and reasons that could make a messenger lost and forgot it’s true meaning. As for me, from the moment i began this writing, I was trying to deliver a message, because I am too a messenger.

YYDW

Doing writing assignments in education makes me bored and at the same time very anxious. However, this is really a test for your commitment to put your effort later in the future when you are sure of what you want to do. People may think that it is easy to create 5000 words assignment for one subject. If you look only into that number of words; 5000, it feels small in one way or another. For this reason, i urge you to see how you put all the supporting references including how you connect your ideas as you keep acknowledging people’s ideas to make it comprehensive and integrated. Not to mention; many various types of the assignments, such as case study, literature review, proposal, and the report itself. Then, perhaps you would feel different of doing writing assignments.

I am leaving behind these days for my assignments. They are not due yet, but the time is running out. I have three subjects, and so i need to develop 15000 words. The minor parts of this number are due soon; whereas the major parts are due at this end of month.

Lord, i was blaming you this morning of placing me here. When you created me in my mother’s womb, was i so naughty, was i so week, that you must let me dwell within beatless heart and rushing tears, dealing with mere wisdom in words and numbers? I hate such wisdom. Shut up! Not you Lord; it was the wisdom.

Ahhh….. the wounds exceed the aid. Cold…. i feel cold. I need to go now. I must not keep writing my anxiousness. it draws me deeper to nowhere.

Lord, i’m sorry. Please keep me awake.

YYDW

Finally i write again. Two nights ago, i had a quick fantasy of being near with the friend who told me about star. I came to remember the love i shown her and how she was so happy. Now, everytime i see her, she will gladly come to me and i can see her happiness. Well, i thought what i feel since i began this writing would be easier by writing about my dear friend. The fact is not. The frequency of my writing for this blog became less for the last two months. sigh….. Alright then, i guess I should write what i should had written before September ended.
 
There is a messenger sent by heaven since the first month i was in Melbourne. I have written about him in some writings before, and here i want to write how he found me when i was about to get lost. I my self tried to run from him many times, but he always found me when i was not expecting him that actually i needed him to take me fly with him.
 
It was the last week in September. The days was on the last row of that week. I spent two nights sleeping in my friend’s house. I didn’t spend my days with my friend, but i spent the days unplanned. The first night passed restlessly. The next day, i was being ignorant of not asking my Lord to help me spend the day that all i could think of was to spend the day in the main library of my university.
 
Then as i boarded my train, the messenger was already standing in front of me. I was completely surprised and overwhelmed. He asked me to fly with him that i simply answered, “why not”. After spending time with those who just started learn to fly, the main event began. There, for the first time of my life, i gave a testimony in front of other messengers. I mentioned that it had been three times God found me through the messenger. I was being lifted up that i knew everyone must think that God has something to do with me. I believe everyone does. The issue is, you want to do it or not.
 
So, it has been written now. I’m glad that I could write this. To make it complete, let me write the finalize for this post.

Most of my life was being surrounded by messengers everywhere i go, either in Indonesia or here in Melbourne. Somehow, i believe that i have to give an account for this. I mean that the time will come for me to take the stick. The road is not easy, but if you keep submiited to His will, heaven and earth will be there for you.
 
YYDW